After I started reflecting about the things that I believe and some of my core values this month – I realized there are a lot of things I believe and act as though they were true… but they aren’t. They aren’t exactly lies… but well, you’ll get the picture.
8. If I stay up late I will get a lot of things done.
(Wrong! Likely I will watch youtube videos, read gofugyourself, and scroll through facebook.)
7. Grown ups know what they are doing.
And grown ups are always people who are (at least) 15 years older than me.
6. If I go to college I will have a clear idea of what I want to be when I grow up.
Well… that didn’t work.
5. Everyone else’s house looks like this.
4. As Mindy Kaling so recently put it…
3. If I don’t read to my child at least 20 minutes (see also: and take him to the museum/cloth diaper/give organic foods/ abstain from TV/ eat family dinners/go to yoga/play Mozart/ hike in the woods/limit his sweets/ follow a strict schedule/buy wooden toys/ provide consistent and firm discipline/expose him to new experiences/ talk to him about colors/ teach him what sound a dog makes) Every. Single. Day. His little life will be irrevocably messed up.
Poor kid, he doesn’t even know yet that his life is already ruined.
2. Some day I am going to be famous.
This one is really hard to shake. The recurring daydream is that one day I will wake up and suddenly people (ie: other already famous people) will realize how clever, hard working, and incredibly good looking I am. And how much I deserve money and interviews. (Can you even name those famous women of the twentieth century anyway?)
1. Everyone else has got it way more together than I do.
Most likely because they are all real adults who are waking up earlier than I do, drinking lots of coffee and following elaborate planners.
As I was making this list I could see that most of these things have to do with other people. I want to be sure that I am fitting in and doing the right thing, and getting ahead. Most everyone is like this to some degree or another in some area of their lives. (Qualify much?)
People use one another as a reference group in order to benchmark how well they are doing with their career, relationship, possessions, even values and morality – and I’m certainly no different. I didn’t come up with this, this renowned sociologist did.
Is this a good thing? Well, what do you think? What kinds of things do you believe… that maybe aren’t really that true?